Well it's the weekend...it's not as exciting to say in my situation. I just wish I could get out, go shopping, grab some dinner, or just lay in my own bed.
It's cold in the hospital and very quiet today. Which makes sense because most of the people on chemo treatments come in on Monday and leave on Friday. That used to be me, I'm jealous. I had a neighbor come in today and ask how long I've been here. Made me feel helpful I knew the ins and outs of this place but still a little sad that I'm "stuck" here.
I got started early today (11am) with some visitors...Debbie and my sister came first.Debbie brought some cards from work and a little present from the "coaching staff" at Taft. They got me a little "FLOWER POWER" canvas picture that goes with my room so well. I guess they figured since I'll be prone to infection sooner than later (no fresh flowers or fruit) they would give me a little something to keep the brightness in my room. VERY thoughtful of them. I also go a card from the girls and boys cross country team and it was sweet as well. I'm so sad I won't be able to coach cross country because i know i have girls will will totally kick some arse...and boys too of course (especially since I'm making all my soccer boys do XC as well). It was a good surprise that put me in a pretty good Saturday mood, just what I needed. Anyways, I took a shower today and I just love shower days, I feel so much cleaner afterwards and sheets always get changed. I try to save up some energy because showers are TIRING, you people don't even know.
Later, my regular oncologist came today on rounds and it just felt comfortable having her in on rounds. Small...I know but it feels good to have familiar faces around.
After rounds, I ventured down to the gift shop with my sister and raided the snacks and I could tell I was getting winded while actually walking. My muscle mass in my legs have significantly went down and luckily my liver enzymes and stuff have went down as well (the whole reason I even came into the hospital). Not really sure about my spleen but I assume it's good too because they haven't said anything about it.
As far as my symptoms go, during the day I'm fine. I sleep a lot (mainly because I don't get sleep at night) and just kinda hang out. Although I will say, last night was BY FAR the best night of sleep I've gotten. My awesome nurses got my ambien dose up and as soon as I took it I was down for the count. I don't remember getting my vitals taken, my temperature, my morning lab drawls....heavenly. I slept all the way until doctor rounds and I barely remember the med students and residents who came in. But like I said, their questions are routine and I usually answer them with a pillow or my sheets over my head. lol.
I usually start to feel the "chemo" side effects during the actual chemo treatments, like I said before. I get real anxious and restless when the steroids go in and I found out if I eat after 5 or somewhere around there I get pretty bad nausea as well as a headache. But the beauty of my awesome nurses and the hospital, all I have to do is ask for something to help and BAM, it's here. Scary, yes, because I don't want to rely so much on medication but chemo is rough.
Anyways, after my trip downstairs, I came back up and my sister left for the day (it gets boring after about an hour with me) and two of my first year students came up, Destiny and Laurie. They're driving now and they're juniors and it just made me feel "old." But needless to say, we talked as if they were still in my 8th grade classroom. Bonds like that and when people, especially students, do one extra step for me, an old teacher they could probably just left and been done with me after 8th grade, makes it all worthwhile and I don't think people get that unless you've had that connection with someone.
So the girls stayed for a bit and we talked about life and treatments and whatever else these kids are talking about these days and it was good. After they left I took about a 2 hour nap because I was tired and woke up to a phone call from my "roommate" (in quotes because we've only lived together for like 3 days before all this mess) asking what kind of shorts to buy from academy since I asked her to. She also bought the Hunger Games movie and had plans of coming up to watch it with me. Then just as I was waking up and functioning again, I got a much anticipated visit from one of my 7th grade teacher teammate....one of our English teachers, Cathy! Not only did I want to hear more about my students I had for 5 days, but also because she brought me HOMEMADE chili that I had been talking about ALL DAY long to my nurses. She also brought me a few movies, and lots of snacks to satisfy late night hunger and during the day snackage. :) She stayed for a while and then was joined by another fellow teacher, tara!
A few days ago when I found out I'd have another PICC line in my arm, I immediately got a hold of Tara and out her on sewing duty so she could make some FABULOUS PICC line covers...then I got the idea that she could make me an actual hospital gown that would fit me (most of them are HUGE) and I would be comfortable in. So she stopped by the fabric store and picked out some beautiful BOLD fabric and I just know she'll be working away to help me out. She stayed for a while after Cathy left and Emily, the roomie, came as well and we sat and chit chatted away.
When Tara left, Emily and I had plans of taking over the family room and watching our Hunger Games movie...and we did. It was really awkward because there were people in there just sitting around not watching the TV or anything, some were playing cards, one was reading, and a few just drinking coffee. So no big deal, we hooked up the DVD and was watching. My 1st bag of chemo went though and I had to go back to my room to get hooked up to my second bag and when I came back everyone was around the TV on the couches watching too. So if anything, I'm glad we provided some entertainment. They must've been bored. lol. It was kind of annoying for a while because people came in during the middle of it and they were all talking about what was going on and why little kids were fighting....weird but we got through it. Then after it was over it was really awkward because we just took the DVD player and left and they were all waiting like we were a movie theater. lol.
But overall it was a good Saturday. I remember always looking forward to Saturday's because people can actually come out and visit and I like that. It also felt good getting out of my room for a couple hours even though I was just laying on a couch anyway. This bed is just so uncomfortable.
Tomorrow I have plans of making a mini video for my students at school telling them how much I miss them and that they should be good for their short term replacement teacher. I thought I should get this in before I lose my hair again so that way it will be a little easier transition for them because when I do go back to school, they'll understand the "process" of me wearing wigs and they won't be so "shocked" if indeed I only feel like wearing a baseball hat to school. And I always think about my students whose lives have already been effected by cancer. You just don't know people's stories and what they've been through. And even since day 1, I just know someone out there whether I know them or not, will be directly effected by this, by me.
Okay well, it's 1 am now and my ambien is starting to kick in and I think my chemo bag is just about done so it's about that time.
Remember AUGUST 30th....Bone Marrow testing at TAFT MIDDLE SCHOOL from 11:30- 3:30. Even if you can't save my life, you could always help someone else out.
Also up until the 24th of this month, a good HS friend's scentsy sales will go towards me and every little bit will help. She's wonderful and if you have questions, she can give you the details because I get confused looking at all that, but one day, I'll get it. :)
https://melkaiser.scentsy.us/Scentsy/Home
Well, I hope everyone has a great weekend and just remember everyone is fighting a battle, so be nice! :)
Much love,
kim
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